There is so much I want to accomplish, and literally there is not time to even plan about it. It can be frustrating, but I will not be giving up!
I don’t have much time to even sit down and write my thoughts.
BELIEVE it or not, THIS is the FIRST time I ACTUALLY get to sit down and write another article since the last time I got some time. It’s like some sort of F-ed-up Déjà vu, except that it is actually very different… yet it feels almost the same. Yes, I realize it is paradoxical and borderline non-sensical, but that’s what makes it more interesting and disturbing at the same time.
Last time I wrote an article I was sitting in Cyprus looking at the Mediterranean from my hotel room’s balcony. I had room service – twice, and it was amazing. I was unable to enjoy the room as much as I wished because I had to leave stupid early but at least I did spend as much time as I could there. Trust me, “me time” is never overrated, and I would dare say – even a necessity to maintain sustained mental sanity.
In contrast, today I’m typing in this little bit of privacy I get to “call my own” inside this ship… essentially the bunk I get to sleep. A far cry from the king size bed in the hotel or the one at my own home. But behind these “privacy curtains” as a I lay here with my MS Surface Pro tablet/laptop (Note to Microsoft, I would love some sponsorship, after all I’m tying this in MS Word too) I just ponder on what is crossing my mind, which is a lot. And it is a bit disturbing because I am both mentally and physically exhausted. Yet, I can’t sleep, because as try to close my eyes, my mind keeps racing, so I need to put all these thoughts into motion (keyboard motion).
So, what do I want to talk about? Good question… Everything! Obviously, there ain’t time to do such thing today. So, my thoughts will percolate as randomly as I can type them. Have you ever experienced something similar? First thing that comes to mind is that some people might say Fk-it, “I’ll just seep and call it a night” – I am not like that, if there is any unfinished business, I might be laying down, but my mind is still on task. And I think about how exhausted everybody else around me must be too. And if this affects me directly, even though I do have a huge luxury of chiseling my schedule – at least more-so than the majority of the people here, I still have a ton of meetings and things that happen at certain times, and those require my physical awoken presence. The bad news is that those “required times” are spaced out in such a way that I cannot really get a nap or some adequate rest in between. Then again there is the noise and light pollution that invades the surrounding areas of this little bit of privacy – particularly at the hours when I would like to take a Fk-ing nap… because I might need one.
Putting the current circumstances in perspective.
So, stuff like that, how many things most of us in other circumstances take for granted. For example, I’m tried – let’s take a quick nap. I’m hungry, let’s get a snack, I need the restroom – it should flush… Yes, stuff like that is not always easy during a deployment. The stuff you would miss might seem insane to some people, but let’s face it, it is much like a prison. You get a bunk, some assigned bathrooms, food is what you get or pay some premium for “store” if you get some selection. Get some mail, with an expected amount of delay, you are around the same people day and night, you’re all wearing the same thing, and of course you can’t get off this place because you’re in a floating steel island that moves to places you might or not want to go. But that does not matter, we’re going wherever this takes us. There are places where cell phones are a no-no, and besides – there are no cell phone towers in the middle of the sea. So, if you wanted to chill and catch up with your favorite you-tube artists or text your boo at 5G speed, we’ll that ain’t happening until some designated time & place. And the kicker, this is a volunteering service.
There is a huge difference between a military job and a military service. The latter is expecting some level of sacrifice not other job would be able to compensate, but sometimes the impact you can contribute the greater cause is indescribable and beyond rewarding. But this sacrifice will wear you and your loved ones down… particularly if you have a family – for example spouse and children, yeah… they are “riding this wave” with you, but miles away. And it is hard. Particularly as these deployments continue to extend as a normality, and other things are struggling to work cohesively as the world continues to go unhinged. And is the latter that sometimes it gets me… Sometimes when some crazy $#!^ is going on somewhere in the world, then the popular belief is that “somebody should be doing something” – and guess, what? During this deployment, WE have been that SOMEBODY – SEVERAL times… we’ve made a few historical waves this deployment, and at the time I’m typing this – we were supposed to be back about a week ago or so… yet here we are. We had a little stop in Taranto, Italy. Beautiful place by the way, but there is a lot more to that story. That will be its own rant.
But meanwhile, we’re in the front seat of the largest geopolitical conflict of this generation. We all know by that that Russia attempted to take over Ukraine, and the war is still ongoing since the end of February. And just a couple of days before June here we are, the entire world witnessing this senseless war. Which by the way Russia does not call it a war, but rather than getting into a semantic argument, the fact is that Russia did cross the internationally recognized Ukrainian border with military force and they have been going at it ever since. Regardless or whatever reason Russia gives to the conflict, this is not the topic for this article, but at some point, I’ll give you guys some historical facts so you can review it when and if this conflict will end.
The problem is that we are still at risk that miscalculation would bring World War III (WW III) … I am not going to say that I have a bad feeling, but I am going to say that I don’t like how things have been developing. And I can only hope that things will improve, but of course the only constant in life is change, and sometimes it is for the better, and sometimes for the worse. I personally want to be a “half full” glass kind of guy. My preferred approach is finding the silver lining while striving to get a win-win scenario. But the geo-pollical situation in the world is a lot more complicated, and a binary solution is not going to resolve this conflict. I have a lot more thoughts about that, but that will be articulated on its own rant, because it goes back to a lot of historical contexts and the human emotions – which includes the effectiveness of propaganda on unsuspecting souls… some of the latter who tend to be extremely vocal and “assertive” even though they have a faux-understanding of the facts and circumstances.
I’ll just close by saying that I am worried. I am finding myself front and center on a situation that is important, and I have a role to play (along with my shipmates). We have been doing great as far as mission success, and it seems that the reward for good work is more good work… but each time making the scenarios more and more complex. Almost as though you are watching a TV series and each episode or each season will step it a notch… well, that’s us, every day seems more complicated than the last. Though not everybody will understand this fact. In-fact, for some people each day looks exactly like the one before… but my friends, the truth in the big picture could not be further from the truth. Now, I’m going to call it a night because I need my mind to be a sharp as it can be, and for that I need to get some sleep. HLC